How To Plant a Vegetable Garden and Prepare for a Zombie Attack
The weather has been consistently crazy the past few days. All sunny and bright in the morning, then heavy but quick downpours in the afternoon. It occured to me that the alternating episodes of sun and rain is just perfect for starting a home garden. But I remembered that I didn’t know the first thing about gardening, so why did I think that? I have no clue. Maybe a premonition of an impending Zombie Attack. So I decided to conduct a quick online research about the subject; the information gathered might actually prove immediately useful. I might even try growing plants myself, so that in the event of a Zombie Attack, I’ll have an army of plants to defend me.
For my research to be realistic, practical, and doable, I crafted search criteria that reflected my present circumstances — pathetically defenseless against a Zombie ambush. I came up with search terms such as ‘growing vegetables at home’ and ‘growing vegetables in pots’. I decided that I wanted to grow vegetables so that when the Zombie Apocalypse finally happens, I’ll have a home garden to rely on for sustenance, as well as defense. I also wanted to grow them in pots, because where I live, there’s not much space for gardening. And I can always launch the pots at the advancing Zombies using a trebuchet, even just to slow them down a bit. So finding everything about how to grow vegetables in pots at home is the most feasible direction for my research. I should also keep a catapult handy.
I should be looking for resources in the Beginners category, as I said previously, I have no clue whatsoever on the subject of growing plants, much less on what causes one to become a magnet for a zombie attack. My grandfather had a green thumb; he was an avid gardener, and could grow anything, even just by scattering seeds on, or sticking twigs into the ground. I haven’t seen my father do anything to vegetables, except cook and eat them. I don’t eat vegetables myself, so I’m pretty sure that when the Zombies attack, the plants will find a willing and dependable ally in me.
And so my quest commenced. The coverage of my online search extended to blogs and videos, not to mention mobile games of plants and zombies going at each other. The search results included this blog post How to begin which proved to be a useful start for my pet project. A video of How To Plant a Vegetable Garden also came up in the search results. Valuable allies against the Zombie uprising.
Unsurprisingly, even almost as expected, my Amazon search yielded this Vegetable Gardening For Dummies book by Charlie Nardozzi. This book appears to be very well regarded, as it consistently comes up in the first page of search results. It is also already in its second edition, so the previous one must have been quite successful.
Based on the description and reviews of the book, this hands-on guide provides a practical guide on how to start a vegetable garden at home, in a simple, easy to read format. As with other For Dummies books, basic but complete information is presented in a humorous tone. The book is expertly written such that expectations of beginning gardeners are fully met. Important tips and practical advice on vegetable gardening for beginners are fully provided. It even refers to vegetable garden plants that are not familiar to most people.
The book is also organized in such a way that it allows the reader to jump around, he is not required to read from beginning to end. Even more than a How To guide, the book also serves as a handy reference for gardeners who already have some experience with flowering plants, but who want to try their hand at vegetable gardening at home.
The book covers the complete lifecycle of a home vegetable garden, starting from plotting out the garden, preparing the soil for planting, selecting types of vegetables to grow, planting the seeds properly, and caring for them as they grow. There’s also a section on ways of combating pests in the garden that is environmentally friendly. It also includes includes information on the right time to harvest and pick the vegetables, and how to prepare vegetables for consumption, as well as for preserving foods grown at home, although I won’t do this to my allies.
One thing I noticed in the reviews and description of the book, though, is that there is no mention of pots or containers. I can’t say for sure if there is a section on growing vegetables in pots for beginners. Guess I’ll have to purchase the book to find out.
But given the amount of information contained in the book, as well as the uncomplicated but playful manner it is presented, this instruction manual comes highly recommended, and much endorsed as a great $ value investment for beginning gardeners. I see a few downvotes, but I suspect that these are from Zombie trolls.
But the book is just that – a beginners manual that provides just enough information for the beginning gardener to get him started. Anything more than that is already beyond the scope of the book.
>>>> Get your Vegetable Gardening For Dummies eBook here
The author, Charlie Nardozzi, has been sharing his expert gardening information to home gardeners for more than 20 years, through various media including the printed page, the Internet, radio, and television. I guess he is also a sworn enemy of Zombies.